A flash drive is the best Christmas present I ever got. Sounds silly in retrospect but it truly is. The thought it took to create this for me, the time I am beyond words. They went out of their way to contact the photography studio that took Rykers pictures in the hospital. We never order them and I thought they were gone forever but they were able to get them just for me.  By placing Ryker I lost a little but I also gained so much more. I know I have said this countless times but Rykers family is the family that I always longed for growing up. I am sad that the first family I picked fell through, I felt horrible that because of me they weren’t going to have a child, it broke my heart; however I think it was needed because if I didn’t do that then I wouldn’t of found Nick and Kris. From the very beginning we had a connection that is rare, there really wasn’t any awkwardness or corny small talk. Ill always remember the day I first talked to them, the day I first met them and the day our son was born because those are the days they made me feel like I was more than just a women having their child. I mean they have always made me feel like that but those are the days that will always stay in my heart. They both are amazing in their own ways, and I have bonded with each of them differently and I love our talks. To me at this point in the adoption, almost a year in, my feelings and love for them has grown into something I didn’t think was possible.

Kris is awesome, I love that he messages me at least once a week and we just talk, not just about Ryker but life, the joys and not so much joyessness of being stay at home parents. He is really smart and I love when we talk about a controversy or whatever we sound like the same person haha.

Nick is a goof just like me. Every time we skype I think we make more funny faces towards each other and joke around more than we are serious. He is caring and sweet and like the older brother I never had.

They both have changed my life for the better they are amazing in every way and I wish all adoption relationships are as amazing as our relationship. I have loved our first year together and I cant wait to see what the future has in store for us. Merry Christmas everyone i hope you all have a wonderful day.