In the media they portray a “good mother” as someone who is fit, who eats healthy, who is able to be there for her kids at a snap of a finger, someone whos makeup is done daily and hair is always amazing. Someone who can stay home with the kids and take them every where there heart wishes. Its easy to get wrapped up in thought of thats what you have to do to be a good mother. When I first found out I was pregnant with my oldest son, I had no doubt in my mind I would be a good mother, with my second pregnancy I questioned if I could be a good mother to two kids who would only be 2 years apart, then I got pregnant the third time and I had no doubt in my mind that i couldnt be a good mother to that baby, and my confidence of being a good mother to my other two shrunk.
When I found out I was pregnant with Ryker, I was a single mother and barley making it and when I say barley I had enough money to pay my rent and feed my kids, i couldnt even eat. How could I nourish a baby growing inside of me when I couldnt even nourish myself. I thought of getting a abortion i truly did but it was to late to far into the pregnancy, I saw his tiny heart flutter and just couldnt bring myself to that thought again. I thought well I could get a second job, try and get into a womens shelter where they help you with daycare and school and a job but they were all full not excepting anyone new. I usually dont pray but I prayed and prayed for any type of guidance that I could get and every time my heart, my mind, God, the earth whom ever you want to say guided me always led me to adoption.
Now that the pregnancy is over i know I am a good mom. I could admit from the start that I couldnt be the kind of mother/parent that Ryker deserved because i couldnt give him everything he deserved or needed. if i were to of kept him and raised him and parented him, I know i wouldnt of been the kind of mother my two other kids deserved. To any future birth mother out there i know the thought of bringing a baby into this world is scary, I know you fear you will be the worst mother out there cause you dont fit into the the status quo of what a mother should be. But if you are thinking adoption know that is the most wonderful thing any mother can do. Why? because you are not thinking of yourself, you are thinking of your baby and breaking your own heart to make sure that baby gets whatever he or she needs even if that means you wont be the parenting them. And please know just because you place your baby for adoption it doesnt mean you will never see him or her again, open adoption has made it so you can still be apart of the babies life.
In my opinion a good mother is a women who puts her needs, her wants aside for the sake of her baby, you dont need your makeup done daily or your hair to be amazing, as long as your child has what they need and are healthy thats all that matters.