Category: Beth (page 1 of 2)

My Calling

39 years. For 39 years, I never knew what my life’s passion was. Of course, I love my children, they are my reason for waking up every morning, but there had to be more to me, then Jordan and Jacobs mom right?  Then this past year, I became pregnant with Eva and I was known as the woman who chose adoption. I was labeled a birthmom. Again, I was proud to wear that title just as I wear my title as mom.  But those two titles don’t define the whole person I am. Who is Beth? What is her purpose in life?
And then it hit me, like a bolt of lightening, maybe by  chance or as I like to hope, God was showing me my purpose. I was meant to to help birthparents and the entire triad in the adoption world. Finally I found my passion and my calling. Something I am good at, and excel in. And finally I  have this fire in my heart, the passion I was missing all these years.
As this is an adoption blog, you may be wondering what this has to do with the subject of adoption. Let me tell you… I am a faithful person and I believe everything DOES happen for a reason. And God brought me Eva to finally find my reason in this world. I hope that by continuing my education and staying the course, I can make all three of my children proud and help others the way that I have been helped during this past year.
Love B

Mothers Day

Sunday May 10th will be my 8th year celebrating Mothers Day and Saturday May 9th will be my very first year celebrating Birth Moms Day. Just like any new experience or first, I have a sense of fear and sadness. Birth Moms Day was established in 1990 by a group of birthmothers in Seattle Washington who recognized that Mothers Day is hard for birth moms and wanted to dedicate a day to recognize the beauty of adoption. I wear the birthmom title proudly and encourage all birth moms to do something special for themselves on Saturday 🙂 I know our children’s adoptive moms will be celebrating Mothers Day proudly whether its their first like Eva’s mom or their tenth. And we, as birth moms made that family possible. We should be so proud of the deed we did, we truly were these moms angels on earth <3 Love to you all Beth

Up, Up and Away

Writing this entry while on the plane to Baltimore with my boys. Im excited to have some down time and see my folks. This will be our first visit since I was pregnant and had Eva. Life was to busy last year so we didnt make our annual trip home. I’ve focused so much on mine and the boys feelings on the adoption that I’m not really sure how my parents feel. We dont talk a lot about it, although I do share photos with them. Even though she isnt living in my home, she is their biological grandchild and I hope they feel that way. I know in a recent conversation with my father, he wasnt sure whether to tell people he had 8 or 9 grandchildren. I told him I tell others I have 3 children so he has 9 grandchildren. I guess this visit will give us the opportunity to talk freely about the adoption and how they feel. Hopefully it is healing, as I know they feel a loss too.

Im interested in how other birthmoms families reacted to their decision to complete and adoption. I’d love to hear from you ladies!

-Beth-

Jealousy

Jealousy- the act of being envious or resentful of someone’s good fortune.

Selfish- concerned exclusively with ones self.

I despise those two words and feelings and normally am not normally either of them. However, ever since I chose adoption for Eva when I was 3 months pregnant, I find myself jealous often. jealous of my friends who were pregnant along side of me, who were able to take their babies home. Jealous of Eva’s mom and dad who get to hug and kiss her everyday and jealous of all the little ones I see throughout the days and I miss my angel.  And then a wave of selfishness and embarrassment wash over me.  See I have 2 wonderful boys I am parenting and I dont have the right to be jealous. I chose adoption. It was my choice. So many wonderful couples cant have a child of their own so how can I be jealous. What right do I have? So many emotions wash over me through the day. But through it all, I am grateful. Grateful to family and friends who have never wavered in their support for me. Grateful for the community of other birth moms I have met, who lift me up on my dark days. And lastly but most importantly, grateful for the 3 beautiful children I gave life to.

-Beth-

 

Jordans birthday and Baby Eva

February 7th and 8th. It was a beautiful weekend. That Friday night I got much needed me time, adult time!!! On Saturday we celebrated Jordans 8th birthday, it was so beautiful weather out. As if the weekend couldnt be fabulous enough, it kept getting  better. On Sunday i got to visit Baby Eva for the second time since she was born. Our first visit in December she was sound asleep the whole visit so I was totally hoping she would be awake for this one. Before  the visit, my adoption counselor had invited me to come speak on a birthmom panel to prospective adoptive parents. I was terrified but it was a great experience. I was able to share my story and had my wonderful friend Christine by my side. I also got to see my angles, Geri and Michelle. 4 pm rolled, the boys my friend Christine and I headed over to see Michele and Eva. I dont think I got more then 5 steps in the door when I saw my beautiful angel. I was sooooo excited as she was awake and alert. Michele made a beautiful dinner for and Jordan got to sit at the head of the table as they guest of honor. Thats how wonderful my adoptive parents are, they love my two other kids. Jordan was showered with gifts and yummy cupcakes for dessert. It was so great to just hang out and catch up. Everything just comes naturally because I truly believe God brought Michele into my life to be Evas mom. I held and loved on her for 2 hours straight. Nothing fills my heart more, then holding all three of my babies. Thats when I feel complete.

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-Beth-

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