Life as of lately….

I started school! If anyone knows me I hated school, but I am actually finding myself loving it. It is only my first month in so like anyone my attitude might change over time. I started this journey to be able to provide for my kids. Placing Ryker was a reality call for me. If I had the education and the right kind of job I would of been able to care for him and both of his brothers. But there was a different fate in my life that led me to adoption and to Rykers parents so I wouldnt change it any other way.

Noah started school! Thats pretty exciting to me. I find myself excited for when he gets out of school, so I can hear about his day. I love hanging up his art work to admire during the day. I love watching him grow academically and smarter just everything.

Nathaniel is growing into such a little boy, he is no longer my baby. I love watching my kids grow but sometimes I wish they could stay my little bittys for ever. Nate is speaking in full sentences and is very inquisitive about everything around him. “Mom whats this” happens every 15 minutes haha. My favorite thing is after he accomplishes something he always says “I did it”.

Ryker is sitting up on his own and eating food! He loves avacodos it was funny watching his face turn green while I was skyping him on my birthday lol. He also laughed and smiled at me it was very heart melting. He can sit up on his own and is babbling lots. Him and his dad will be here at the end of September to finalize the adoption. Im pretty content about it. Im also meeting Kris’s mom while they are out here, its pretty cool that they have so much family, it makes me feel like I have a huge family which I always wanted.

Nothing really exciting but its life. Im not lost in a deep depressed world that I cant seem to get out of, like some people would expect from a mother who placed their child. Im not wondering about a child that I carried then “gave up.” Im not concerned about his well being because Im in touch with his parents.  Im going with the flow of life. I have accepted what was and not focusing on what could be, just enjoying the now. Im in love with the life that I decided to take. Im in love with all of my kids and all the family that I have had and the family that has grown with placing Ryker.  I am at peace.