I have recently had a few people tell me that my son had passed away because I was placing him for adoption. He wasn’t meant to be with another family, only me and for that I was being punished. Let’s get one thing straight.. That is one of the most untrue, most ignorant things I have ever heard. God is not punishing me. Arlo was not meant for this world. He had already served his purpose.
Adoption is the most beautiful, selfless act. Woman are willing to break their own hearts to give their child the absolute best in life. Do you have any idea how hard that is? Adoption is giving a couple who cannot have children of they own the gift of life. Adoption is not a breaking of trust but the keeping of faith. Not the abandonment of a baby but an abandonment of self for a baby’s sake. When someone first asked me about placing my son, I thought hell no. I couldn’t ever fathom someone else taking care of MY son. I was wrong though. Adoption is beautiful, thoughtful and the most amazing thing to me now. Arlo parents were the most kinder souls I have ever met. The agency I went through were filled with the most amazing woman on this planet. Choosing to place my son has nothing to do with him dying and for someone to ever say that shows nothing but ignorance. If I had the chance to change anything about my decision, I wouldn’t. I loved what I was doing and chose for my son. He would have been so loved by so many people. He would have been happy and well taken care of. He would have known I loved him so much, that I chose to break my own heart for his well being.
If you ever meet a birth mother,or soon to be birth mother. Never say to us that what they are doing is wrong, or that they are taking the easy way out. Never say that they will regret their decision or that we are not taking responsibility for our mistakes. We don’t want to hear any of that nonsense because none of that is true. Our child was never a mistake, just a happy accident. We will never regret giving some one the gift of life and completing a family. We are definitely not taking the easy way out, adoption is in no way easy. It isn’t an easy decision at all, far from it but as a parent you have to think about what is best for your child. Placing your baby doesn’t mean we don’t love our kids or want them. It means we want what’s best for them and that’s true love. We don’t sit around as little girls dreaming of the day we will become birth moms. Typically, a turn of events in our lives leads us down the road to making that decision.
Even though my son has passed away. I know for a fact it wasn’t because I chose to place him. God would never punish someone for making such a wonderful selfless act. So please, keep your ignorant opinions like that to yourself.
“My bleeding heart has healed, but that scar is a reminder of the beautiful child that I gladly broke my own heart for.”