Last night I went to the hospital, I hate the hospital, in fact in the last 5 years I have only been to the hospital when I was pregnant for pregnant related problems other then that I dont care how sick I get I stay clear of them. Last night was one of the best hospital visits I have had for 2 reason.
Being a women and having lower abdominal pain the nurses and doctors always ask you how many times you have been pregnant and how many live births you have had. After Ryker I was afraid that I was going to forget to say that I have had 3 live births because I wasnt raising him. Well the charge nurse was the first to ask me “How many pregnancies have you have” I reply with “4” then she asked how many live births I have had I said “3” then its the typical questions about my symptoms, I tell her that I had a baby 2 months ago and what I am experiencing, I didnt think it had anything to do with postpartum recovery. So she is typing away and asked how the baby is, I tell her he is good and that I am excited I get to see him next month. She gave me a really confused look and that was when I replied I placed him for adoption and she looked away didnt say anything else. Then I get to my room and my nurse for the night asked me the same questions and then ended with how is the baby doing, I told her the same thing and she didnt say anything. I got asked the same question by 2 other doctors and replied with the same answer.  As I’m getting wheeled back for my ultrasound I start talking to Stephanie the ultrasound tech. I started asking her questions about schooling and what I have to do to become a ultrasound tech. It was nice to finally have a conversation instead of doctor talk. Then we get on the subject of me placing Ryker for adoption. She said that she really commends me for doing something so hard, and said that im really brave. She goes on to add that her little brother is adopted and so is her husband. She asks me a whole bunch of questions and I answer all of them. Im not afraid to tell people that I placed Ryker for adoption. There is nothing shaming to me that I placed my baby for adoption. I gave him life and I placed him with a couple that could continue on giving him life. So Stephanie went back to her office and came back with her number and the clinic she works at and told me to call her so I can meet with her to give her the agencies information and my information because she has a lot of women who come in asking about adoption and she wants to be able to give them our information she even wrote down my blog name. I was so happy, because a lot of people dont agree with adoption. They think its taking the easy way out of parenting, but not Stephanie she thought I was amazing because of it. I left the hospital with a smile on my face because of her.

IT was freezing when I left the hospital and I was only wearing a tank top, which shows all my tattoos. Parker is a very rich neighborhood so most everyone is snotty cause you know they have money, obviously they are better then the low life sitting in the cold wearing a tank top covered in tattoos. It was kinda amusing I would watch them come out and I would say Hi because I am a polite person and they would look at me then look directly down at their feet and clutch their purse or their wife and hurry off. I was sitting for about 10-15 minutes freezing and my skin was going numb (My phone was dead so i was sitting outside instead of inside cause if i wasnt then i wouldnt of known when Jesse got there and I didnt want him to have to get the kids out of the car to come find me) when this older man starts walking my direction to get to his car he smiled at me and I said “Hi” and he says “hi, that wind is a little chilly tonight” I laugh and say “yeah a little and I forgot my jacket” he then walks off and i curl my legs up to my chest to try and stay warm and next thing I know he is draping his jacket around my arms saying “stay warm have a good night” I was amazed told him thank you so much and he replies of course you need to stay warm have a good night and walks off.  You dont see that every day, someone give there really nice jacket to a stranger. Hell you dont see anyone do anything nice for a stranger any more, so it was nice to have someone do that for me, especially since I have been down on myself for the past few days.

Thank you Stephanie the ultrasound tech and thank you stranger for giving me your jacket you two made my hospital visit better and my week better. You both showed me it doesnt take much to be kind, to care and to show compassion and interest in people you dont know. I wish more people would be like that. So I challenge anyone reading this, pay it forward. Be nice to someone you dont know dont judge them for the way the look, or for placing their baby for adoption. Dont judge them because you dont know them, treat them the way you want to be treated and do something NICE for them.

-Kedra-